Tuesday, July 5, 2011

Mistaken All Week - poetic paean to dates who are duds

Mistaken all week - a poetic paean to dud dates
(from the lady's point of view)

My life seemed boring, something seemed amiss
I craved adventure, so I told my Sis.
But Sis thought I was crazy, she said, “Hon!
You’re quite mistaken. Strangers are no fun!”


Limerick Letdown
On Friday, I went out with Mickey
Who thought he was terribly tricky
He felt it romantic
To fumble, quite frantic.
And end up the night with a quickie.


My Sis said, “Told you so!” without remorse.
So I went out and tried again, of course.



Haiku Hangup
On Saturday night
I discovered with sadness
That Hung Lo – wasn’t.


My sister laughed and said with bawdy wink,
“He was so short, sometimes you have to think!”



A Cinquain in the Park with George
Sunday
I dined with George
Whose eloquence promised
A night of sensitivity
…or not.


I’m glad to say that Sis was somewhat kind..
She’d dated George herself, “I liked his mind”



Acrostic between a Donkey and a Snake
L eonard asked me out on Monday
A nd I said I’d happily go,
R elieved ‘cause we went out for sundaes,
G oing well meant going slow.
E ventually we went to his place
B ut we still just sat and talked
U ntil finally we got started
T hen his lordly member… balked.
L usting for his apt proportion
I  tried things not taught in school,
M ade an effort, tried extortion,
P roduced naught but flaccid tool.


Well, I told Sis I’d stayed home, watched TV.
There’s some humiliation I don’t need.



Epigram Telegram
On Tuesday I went out with Ray.
Turned out he was charming and… gay.


My Sis, she harkened back where she’d begun,
“You're still mistaken. Strangers are no fun!"



Take me out to the Etheree
On Wednesday, I went on a date with Sam
He took me to the ball park to see
The Indians play the Yankees
We sat in the second row.
He drank way too much beer.
He tried to grope me
Out in public!
I slapped him.
Fuck off,
Sport!


I went back to my sister and I cried,
“I’m done”, I said, but thankfully I lied.



Thursday Sonnet
With heavy heart, uncertain and depressed,
I planned to stay at home and count my woes,
But then a call from Mike, whom I’d impressed
When he met me last week; my spirits rose.

He asked if I would come out to a play
He said he’d pick me up at half past eight
I felt like I did not know what to say
I dressed and paced ‘cause I could hardly wait.

I knew I should stay calm and circumspect
My failures of the week should sober me
But when he came he showed me such respect
My mind went blank – don’t know what came o’er me.

He held my hand and gazed into my eyes
And when we kissed, explosions lit the skies.


I must have looked like I had lost my head.
I grinned so wide and to my sister said,
“Dear Sis, I’m glad to say that I have won.
You’re quite mistaken. Strangers can be fun!”



* The contents here are fiction. They do not represent any real people or events, although they may reflect real emotions.

*Notes on formats*

A Limerick is a rhymed humorous or nonsense poem of five lines which originated in Limerick, Ireland. The Limerick has a set rhyme scheme of : a-a-b-b-a with a syllable structure of: 9-9-6-6-9.

A Haiku is an unrhymed verse of Japanese origin consisting of three
lines of five, seven, and five syllables (5, 7, 5) or 17 syllables in all.

A Cinquain is a short, usually unrhymed poem consisting of twenty-two syllables distributed as 2, 4, 6, 8, 2, in five lines.

An Acrostic is where the first letter of each line spells a word or multiple words, usually using the same words as in the title or relating to the title.

An Epigram is a short satirical poem, usually a rhyming couplet, ending with either a humorous retort or a stinging punchline.

An Etheree consists of 10 lines of either 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10 syllables or 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 syllables.

A Shakespearean Sonnet consists of 14 lines in iambic pentameter as three quatrains and a couplet, and rhymes
abab cdcd efef gg.

The discussion between the sisters is in iambic pentamber couplets rhymed as
aa bb ...

9 comments:

  1. haha...what a delight your journey was through the forms and the courters...really enjoyed this...very well spun...

    ReplyDelete
  2. I'm the first one? Oh, I LOVED this....you are so brave, Ben....LOL!

    Been there, been there, been there, but not in many years....

    This was a scream....and I needed this today!!

    Hugs,

    Lady Nyo with kimono flappin'

    ReplyDelete
  3. haha that was gret fun through all your writes, love the limerick and of course I loved all the rhyming retorts.

    ReplyDelete
  4. How fun this was :) I'm thankful I didn't have to meet that many mistakes before I found the right one (or come to think of it, maybe I did, lol).

    ReplyDelete
  5. FANTASTIC!!! How very creative...really!
    Humorous, and so darned awesome!! Loved each and every one of them! Umm.. the poems, I mean :)

    ReplyDelete
  6. Thanks, folks. I love the process of making different poems around a single theme, but this was a bit different for me (especially not being a lady myself).

    ReplyDelete
  7. oh wow..what a journey ben...i feel a bit dizzy..but in a very nice way...smiles

    ReplyDelete
  8. The word, I think is bawdy -- but what great fun you've had here - and shared with us.

    ReplyDelete
  9. You are absolutely hilarious!

    ReplyDelete